Lauren Wellbank

One mom and her struggle to survive until bedtime


Date: January 7, 2016

Ickbies

Today I have a really bad case of the Ickbies.  Yep, it’s another term that I made up.  Get used to it, I like to make shit up.  This one means “I Can’t Because…”

For instance, I really want to work on my short story, but… I can’t because… I don’t have a lap top case to safely bring my lap top back and forth from my parent’s to my house to work on it at night after the little one goes to bed, I have a stack of paperwork that I have been carrying around in my purse that needs to be dealt with during the day, I need to get the wee tyke down for her nap, I am super hungry and it’s distracting, I want to go on Facebook and zone out, I need to figure out how I am getting my hair cut next month so I want to spend some time looking up new hair styles…

The reality is that I have too much to do at night right now with my cult (that’s right, I joined a cult, but more on that later) and if I brought the lap top home, it would sit at the house until morning when I bring it back to the parent’s.  But, that is not going to stop me from buying a lap top bag, because I really do want a way to safely transport my computer.  This has nothing to do with an overwhelming desire to shop.  Promise.

The paperwork in my bag has been in my bag for MONTHS.  I haven’t gone through it yet.  It hasn’t stopped me from doing anything else.  Why am I letting it stop me from writing?  Because I’m looking for excuses?  Probably.  Because I am easily distracted?  Definitely.  Maybe I will take some time to do it this afternoon so that I can stop carrying it around.  Maybe not.

It really is nap time, BRB.

Well, it’s two and half hours later.  I did get the baby down for a nap.  And I ate, so that’s two items that I have cleared up.

Annnnnnd, another hour has passed.

The ICB’s are real even though they are mostly made up.

Pilot

 

 

This right here, this silly blog, is all inspired by a quote I saw this morning.  I’m paraphrasing here, but basically it said that you shouldn’t say that you aren’t doing something because you don’t have time, but instead because you don’t make it a priority.  Then see if that changes how you feel about the thing that you aren’t doing.

For the past, oh I don’t know, FOREVER, I have wanted to become a writer.  I have wanted to write books, movies, a blog, and for one very strange week, a comic book.  You name it, I’ve wanted to write it.  I have numerous half outlined ideas, with just as many started-but-never-finished stories.  I have always told myself that I don’t have the time to sit down and write something to completion (now that I have a toddler, and can see how much time I actually had before… let’s just say that hindsight is less 20/20 and more a mocking asshole).  The reality may actually be that I haven’t made it a priority.  It is time I make it a priority.  If I find out that it actually isn’t as much of a passion as I thought it was then no skin off my nose.  I can focus my energy on finding out what my passion actually is.  Hopefully I won’t find out that my true passion is just complaining about how great it would be if I had time to write.  Although with so many years of practice I could be the best lamenter around!

Now for the obligatory “about me”.  Although, let’s be real, if you are reading this then you already know all about me.  You are most likely either my mother, my husband, or my sister, because I can’t imagine my following being much greater than that.

I am in my late, early thirties.  I have a toddler daughter and a handsome bearded husband.  Up until just over a year ago I was a mortgage professional.  I worked in the industry for over a decade (actually, all of my adult life) and was moderately satisfied with it.  I longed to write the Great American Novel, or become a nurse, or maybe write about nursing.  Alright, maybe “moderately satisfied” isn’t the best way to describe how I felt about my career, but it paid the bills.  Now I am a Stay-At-Somebody-Else’s-Home Mom.  It’s a term I recently coined.  It means that I hang out at my mom’s all day with my daughter and my grandmother.  If that sounds like I’m living the dream to you, then you get it.  It’s awesome, and I love it.  Obviously, like everything, it has its ups and downs.  I spend a lot of time checking to make sure people are still breathing while they are sleeping and I touch a lot of poop and food (but I always wash my hands after and before, respectively).  I get to watch my daughter grow and experience all of her firsts.  I also get to spend time with my grandmother every day.  I know how rare of a thing that is to have.  Believe me when I say I cherish the time that we all get to spend together and none of this is taken for granted.

I am recently married.  Recently enough that it’s still really exciting when I remember that it happened.  Sometimes I still think it’s still months away.  Then I remember it has already happened and that this poor sucker is stuck with me for at least seventeen more years.  You know, for the baby’s sake.  The baby is actually a toddler now.  We are currently playing a super fun game that I just created where I roll a ball into the other room, she chases it down to bring it back to me, and then we start over again.  It’s fetch, I’m playing fetch with my daughter (whatever, she loves it and it’s giving me a chance to give this one last pass over before I post it).

If I had started this blog about a year ago I would have added cat aficionado (read: Crazy Cat Lady) to this “about me”.  Honestly, it probably would have gone, “I love cats, so many cats, all things cats… then waaaaaay down at the bottom, I also have a husband and a kid.  However, that time in my life has passed.    It happened sometime around the time that my oldest cat, Binker, passed away.  After he died cats sort of lost their appeal to me.  I think I was so “cat happy” because of him.  He was the best cat ever.  Unfortunately, that really became a problem because I still had five cats left.   Two more cats left us, one to cross the Rainbow Bridge and one… well he ran away and I think a crazier cat lady took him in (one that lives a few houses down), but that’s a story for another time.

My other hobbies include dancing like no one is watching and loving like there is no tomorrow.  Actually, I think my only other hobby is a new found appreciation for wine.  I used to be a strictly beer girl.  Maybe it’s the whole becoming a mom thing.  I hear those ladies are crazy for wine and coffee.  Maybe it’s because it’s a whole lot more reasonable to have a glass of wine at 3:30 on a Tuesday than to crack a beer?  Whatever the reason, I am on board.

I guess that’s the most “about me” I can get.  Now you know everything!  No need to read further.  Just kidding, please keep reading.

I’d like to set some expectations so you all (you know, my mom, husband, and sister) know when feel let down.  My plan is to use this as a platform for writing.  It’s that basic.  I will put up some thoughts and ponderings.  Maybe some musings. Hopefully I will also put up some short stories.  Then we can all look back on this and laugh when I am a world famous writer.  I am promising a minimum of one post a week.  If I go more than a week without posting, send a search party.  Or better yet, send wine.

That’s going to have to be all for now.  My daughter is now running from one room to another, delivering me all the things that she is not allowed to touch.*  She is basically taunting me to see if I will make her stop or just keep taking things, saying thank you, and then piling them up next to me.  Well, the joke is on her, because I’m about to go parent the crap out of her.

Until next time!

 

*This is totally my excuse for why this post is scattered.  Kids, man…

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