Raising toddlers has forever changed the way I listen to Christmas carols

If your house is anything like mine, your dryer lint has made its annual change-over from glittery* pink fuzz to glittery* red fuzz, the universal signal that Christmastime is once again upon us.

*this family has an unsustainable glitter habit


This is a magical time of year.

Everything is festively decorated and there’s an extra crackle of excitement in the air. For people like me who are #festiveAF and #extra this is legit the most magical time of the year.

Sprinkle my kids into that mix, and the magic gets dialed up by about a million.

Even though my kids spent most of this year toeing the line between naughty and nice, I am pumped for Christmas. When else can you feel not-QUITE-so-guilty about using bribery and threats of Santa’s watchful eye as part of your parenting repertoire?

And cookies, so many cookies.

Need to get some work done? Give your kid a cookie.

Have to sneak away to wrap a present? Here’s a cookie!

Want to enjoy 90 seconds of silence? COOKIE!

Of course, you can’t give a two-foot-tall person approximately three feet of cookies ON A NORMAL DAY and expect them to have any chill what-so-ever. Throw in presents and cousins and non-stop Christmas carols and it only gets more bonkers.

And speaking of Christmas carols, I hear them a whole lot differently now that I’m a mother (ya know, other than because I’m hearing them from the driver’s seat of my #minivan as I make my way to #target on this #blessed day)…

Kids have changed my perspective on the following Christmas classics-

  1. Please Come Home for Christmas, The Eagles – Bells will be ringing? Yeah, I hear them. I hear every single one of them. My toddler keeps ringing them and ringing them and rinnnnnnging theeeeeeeem.

  2. Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer, Elmo and Patsy – “GRANDMOM GOT WHAT-WHAT?!”

  3. Do You Hear What I Hear, Harry Simeone – “Do you? Do you hear it, mommy? Mom? Mom! Do you hear it? What is that? Mom? Mom? MOM?!”

  4. Little Drummer Boy, Harry Simeone – BANG ON THIS, BANG ON THAT, PRETEND ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IS A DRUM… BANG BANG BANG. DRUM DRUM DRUM. 

  5. Baby it’s Cold Outside, by like, everyone – “But I don’t wannnnnna wear a jacket!!!”

  6. Silent Night, Joseph MohrLOL, JK JK JK 

  7. All I Want for Christmas is You, Mariah Carey – “I want a puppy.” “Oh, and a firetruck.” “And, and, and a talking Marshall from Paw Patrol!” “And THAT! What IS that? I want it!”

  8. Deck the Halls, Thomas Oliphant – If your kid isn’t “Fa la la la-ing” at full volume is it even Christmas?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FRIENDS!

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