Not My Ghostbusters, How The Thing Ruined My Childhood
The Thing (2011) Review
Review by Kenny Wellbank
October 15th 2011
The Thing stars Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Joel Edgerton, and a bunch of dudes that can speak Norwegian, oh and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, who is cool.
The Thing failed me. Mistake number one, it’s a prequel to the original Thing, and they didn’t make that clear enough. Everyone thought it was a remake. Mistake number two, all the CGI instead of practical effects.
I don’t even know that I can finish this review. The Thing (1982) was a gem from my youth and The Thing (2011) has ruined my childhood.
The Thing (1982) Review
Yeah, fuck you too!
Review by Ken Wellbank
June 26 1982
The Thing stars Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley, Keith David, and a bunch of other dudes.
What is this schlock? The Thing (1982) is a remake of the movie The Thing from Another World, and it spits in the face of one of the best movies of my youth. Directed by shock and gore pusher, John Carpenter, The Thing is a gross and violent movie that will make you squirm in your seat when you’re not nodding off from boredom.
Instead of making a nonsensical story that relies on grisly death scenes and horrifying body destruction, maybe focus on good storytelling and character development, and try not to ruin any more childhoods!
I wish I could write more but I don’t want to give this movie any more thought and tarnish my memories of The Thing From Another World.
The Thing From Another World (1951) Review
An intellectual carrot. The mind boggles.
Review by Kenneth Wellbank
April 7th 1951
The Thing From Another Planet stars a woman and some dead guys that talked like old time radio hosts.
I don’t have much to say. This movie is a adaption of the novel, Who Goes There? By John W. Campbell, Jr. They missed the point of the book. They made a mockery of the book. This is just another example of movies looking to focus more on violence and scares to drum up money from hardworking families. Disgusting. Who Goes There? was a favorite from when I was child, and I can say with all confidence this movie ruined my childhood, and it will ruin yours as well.
Who Goes There? Book Review
That’s not a logical argument. I know it isn’t. The thing isn’t Earth-logic anyway.
Review by K.A. Wellbank
August 22nd 1938
Who Goes There? Was written by John W. Campbell, JR.
This is a good book. Short. Most sentences were easy to understand. Good for children.