Lauren Wellbank

One mom and her struggle to survive until bedtime


Year: 2019

To my daughter on her second birthday

To my daughter on her second birthday,

And like that, she’s two

I packed up your high chair the other day, you no longer use it. These days you insist on sitting in a chair at the table, just like your big sister. You’ve become her twin, her shadow, over the past few months. There is no where she goes, that you do not follow. It can be both adorable and frustrating as I try to keep you both in line. Continue reading

Retro Toy Reviews Presents: Snailiens

Snailiens

Reviewer: Kenny Wellbank

Where do I start? Do I begin to give a background on the story of the Snailiens? Do I tell the tale of how each of the Supersonic Shell Fighters were gifted their names by their small unidentifiable bug sidekicks? Maybe with the fact that their mortal enemies are anthropomorphic ticks, also with unidentifiable bug sidekicks? Are they even snails? Why do they have weird armor beards or eyebrows, each with a corresponding color? Why did an action figure with zero points of articulation and a snap on two piece armor set resembling the McDonalds Looney Tunes DC Super Heroes Happy Meal Toys capture the heart of so many children? Continue reading

A thank you to all of the “loser teachers” I’ve known

“Keep up that fight, bring it to your schools. You don’t have to be indoctrinated by these loser teachers that are trying to sell you on socialism from birth. You don’t have to do it.” – Donald Trump Jr.

I have been thinking about Mrs. Miller a lot lately. She was impossibly nice, had beautiful blonde curly hair, and taught the 5th grade. I can’t remember much of what I learned in her classroom that year, but I do remember how she made me feel: smart, creative, important.

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