Category: The Parenting Game

To my daughter on her second birthday

To my daughter on her second birthday, I packed up your high chair the other day, you no longer use it. These days you insist on sitting in a chair at the table, just like your big sister. You’ve become her twin, her shadow, over the past few months. There is no where she goes, …

A thank you to all of the “loser teachers” I’ve known

“Keep up that fight, bring it to your schools. You don’t have to be indoctrinated by these loser teachers that are trying to sell you on socialism from birth. You don’t have to do it.” – Donald Trump Jr. I have been thinking about Mrs. Miller a lot lately. She was impossibly nice, had beautiful …

The bullying doesn’t stop, it just changes

Bullying. The first time I was teased about the way I looked I was in elementary school. We were sitting in class when the boy sitting next to me said something about my hair. Then the boy next to him joined in, and another boy on the other side of me jumped in, and my …

How millennials are ruining Thanksgiving

Dearest millennial host, It’s me, your 19 pound turkey, dropping in with a very important message about Thanksgiving. I know a written letter seems a little formal, especially since you are about to be wrist deep inside of me, but it’s pretty hard to get your attention any other way. For example, do you remember …

Twas the night before cold and flu season

Twas the night before cold and flu season… Twas the night before [insert thing I was looking forward to doing here], when all through the house, not a child was sleeping, not even with their favorite stuffed mouse; Their outfits for tomorrow had been laid out with care, in the hope it would speed up …

I’m another year older

I’m grateful to wake up another year older today. I know it’s an experience denied so many. After being serenaded by my kids, and eating a wonderful breakfast cooked by my amazing husband, I answered the age old question, “Do you feel any different?” The short answer, no.

Hello, I’m the failed wife

A letter of thanks from the formerly failed wife. When I initially wrote this piece for Huffington Post about my whirlwind journey from wife to ex-wife, I didn’t really expect much to come of it. Honestly, I assumed a few people would read it out of morbid curiosity and then never give it a second …

Fireworks and Summer Reading Lists

The Fourth of July is finally upon us. I can tell thanks to the sweet, subtle sounds of shit exploding outside my house. The relentless ballistics begin around supper and continue until well after I’ve passed out for the night #merica. The familiar percussion, while equally obnoxious and annoying when you have two sleeping toddlers, …

Kids ruin things, but it’s okay

Becoming a parent is a life altering event. You go from being in charge of just you, to having this whole other human being that relies on you for everything. They also somehow quadruple your laundry load. It’s intense. And it colors everything in your world. Suddenly you find yourself wearing these parenting glasses that …