Tag: lists

Fireworks and Summer Reading Lists

The Fourth of July is finally upon us. I can tell thanks to the sweet, subtle sounds of shit exploding outside my house. The relentless ballistics begin around supper and continue until well after I’ve passed out for the night #merica. The familiar percussion, while equally obnoxious and annoying when you have two sleeping toddlers, …

Kids ruin things, but it’s okay

Becoming a parent is a life altering event. You go from being in charge of just you, to having this whole other human being that relies on you for everything. They also somehow quadruple your laundry load. It’s intense. And it colors everything in your world. Suddenly you find yourself wearing these parenting glasses that …

How to enjoy St. Paddy’s day like you don’t have kids when you actually have a couple kids

Seven steps for enjoying St. Paddy’s Day like you did before you had kids. Step one: Dress your kids up in their St. Paddy’s Day finest. I am talking head to toe green, orange, and white. You’re going to need a gigantic green bow for their hair. This works for girls, boys, and patient dogs …

Kids aren’t the same as pets

Kids are not the same as pets. I know there are a lot of people out there who love their “fur babies.” And who may feel personally attacked by that statement, but I assure you I’m not making a judgement call. I’m not trying to quantify love, I’m not the government, but I’m pretty sure …

Five hangover cures that also help you recover from parenting your toddler

There are very few things worse than a hangover. I can actually only think of two, one of them is a hangover at 36-years-old, the other thing is toddlers. Really really loud toddlers. If you’ve experienced either of these things then you know that while you’re in them, they seem to go on endlessly and …

Raising toddlers has forever changed the way I listen to Christmas carols

If your house is anything like mine, your dryer lint has made its annual change-over from glittery* pink fuzz to glittery* red fuzz, the universal signal that Christmastime is once again upon us. *this family has an unsustainable glitter habit

When you have a toddler every day is like Halloween

Halloween is almost here. And while I may not be sticking to my pre-parenting traditions (scary movie marathons, obnoxious decorations, and drinking my weight in pumpkin beer), I am still finding time to be living in a constant state of fear #isthisyearoveryet? You see, when you are a parent of small children, everyday is Halloween. …

6 tips for helping the pregnant woman in your life

Pregnancy, for some it’s a time of glowing and eager anticipation, for others it’s a time of great discomfort and fear, but for almost everyone it’s a time of struggle. And I’m just talking about the dads here… ba-dum-tss. It can be hard to watch the woman that you love the most going through something …

Summer reading lists are BS when you’re a parent

There is something that happens when you become a parent.  Some weird thing that changes your relationship with the space time continuum.  It’s like, time no longer moves as it once did.  Don’t believe me?  Ask any parent you know and they will tell you that once you have kids, time loses all meaning. I …

8 thoughts every mom has while breastfeeding

Being a new mom is hard. You’re tired, full of raging hormones, and you may or may not be so sleep deprived that you’re nearing a mental breakdown. And that’s after spending the past 40 weeks being tired, full of hormones, and sleep deprived. Being a new mom is hard… wait, I think I said …