Tag: mom

To my daughter on her second birthday

To my daughter on her second birthday, I packed up your high chair the other day, you no longer use it. These days you insist on sitting in a chair at the table, just like your big sister. You’ve become her twin, her shadow, over the past few months. There is no where she goes, …

Fireworks and Summer Reading Lists

The Fourth of July is finally upon us. I can tell thanks to the sweet, subtle sounds of shit exploding outside my house. The relentless ballistics begin around supper and continue until well after I’ve passed out for the night #merica. The familiar percussion, while equally obnoxious and annoying when you have two sleeping toddlers, …

Kids ruin things, but it’s okay

Becoming a parent is a life altering event. You go from being in charge of just you, to having this whole other human being that relies on you for everything. They also somehow quadruple your laundry load. It’s intense. And it colors everything in your world. Suddenly you find yourself wearing these parenting glasses that …

This house has gone zero days without me freaking out over something that doesn’t matter

I messed up today. I yelled at my kids this morning because I was frustrated over ten thousand stupid things but also not really one thing in particular at all. Raised my voice because I was trying to get the baby down for a nap while the toddler played her toy pots and pans like …

How to enjoy St. Paddy’s day like you don’t have kids when you actually have a couple kids

Seven steps for enjoying St. Paddy’s Day like you did before you had kids. Step one: Dress your kids up in their St. Paddy’s Day finest. I am talking head to toe green, orange, and white. You’re going to need a gigantic green bow for their hair. This works for girls, boys, and patient dogs …

When my arms are full but my heart is not

On the days when my arms are full but my heart is not, I try to remember why. When everyone needs something right now, and I just don’t feel like I have anything left in me to give, I try to remember. When they’ve already eaten lunch and are asking for snacks but I haven’t …

Kids aren’t the same as pets

Kids are not the same as pets. I know there are a lot of people out there who love their “fur babies.” And who may feel personally attacked by that statement, but I assure you I’m not making a judgement call. I’m not trying to quantify love, I’m not the government, but I’m pretty sure …

Five hangover cures that also help you recover from parenting your toddler

There are very few things worse than a hangover. I can actually only think of two, one of them is a hangover at 36-years-old, the other thing is toddlers. Really really loud toddlers. If you’ve experienced either of these things then you know that while you’re in them, they seem to go on endlessly and …

Raising toddlers has forever changed the way I listen to Christmas carols

If your house is anything like mine, your dryer lint has made its annual change-over from glittery* pink fuzz to glittery* red fuzz, the universal signal that Christmastime is once again upon us. *this family has an unsustainable glitter habit