I messed up today. I yelled at my kids this morning because I was frustrated over ten thousand stupid things but also not really one thing in particular at all. Raised my voice because I was trying to get the baby down for a nap while the toddler played her toy pots and pans like …
This house has gone zero days without me freaking out over something that doesn’t matter Read More »
Seven steps for enjoying St. Paddy’s Day like you did before you had kids. Step one: Dress your kids up in their St. Paddy’s Day finest. I am talking head to toe green, orange, and white. You’re going to need a gigantic green bow for their hair. This works for girls, boys, and patient dogs …
On the days when my arms are full but my heart is not, I try to remember why. When everyone needs something right now, and I just don’t feel like I have anything left in me to give, I try to remember. When they’ve already eaten lunch and are asking for snacks but I haven’t …
Kids are not the same as pets. I know there are a lot of people out there who love their “fur babies.” And who may feel personally attacked by that statement, but I assure you I’m not making a judgement call. I’m not trying to quantify love, I’m not the government, but I’m pretty sure …
There’s been another school shooting. Kids today don’t realize how good they’ve got it. With the rise in accessibility of the internet, they have the entire world at their fingertips. Back in my day, my only internet access was through AOL dial-up. Which was hardwired to an actual landline. And forget about smartphones, we had …
There are very few things worse than a hangover. I can actually only think of two, one of them is a hangover at 36-years-old, the other thing is toddlers. Really really loud toddlers. If you’ve experienced either of these things then you know that while you’re in them, they seem to go on endlessly and …
Five hangover cures that also help you recover from parenting your toddler Read More »
If your house is anything like mine, your dryer lint has made its annual change-over from glittery* pink fuzz to glittery* red fuzz, the universal signal that Christmastime is once again upon us. *this family has an unsustainable glitter habit
Dear daughter, today you turn three. And although I will miss your tiny little voice, and your tiny face, I am excited for the year ahead of us. This year you surprised me in so many ways. Your personality is clearer than ever. You are the charming little weirdo with a great laugh who is …
Hello, It’s me, your 12 pound turkey, with a very important message about Thanksgiving. I know a letter seems a little formal, especially since you are about to be wrist deep inside of me, but it’s pretty hard to get your attention any other way. Remember the other day when you thought you heard …
#turkeyday – How millennials are ruining Thanksgiving Read More »
Shit changes fast around here, and as soon as I’m used to the current state of things, it changes again. I’m still in survival mode. I say still because I think I shifted into it somewhere around my sixth month of pregnancy, maybe somewhere around my second round of strep throat? The “baby” is now …